Some Real Life Thoughts

Today's post is going to be vastly different than my usual ones have been.  I've had so many thoughts on my mind lately that I felt the need to express them, to get them off my chest so to speak.

I don't know how well you've been keeping up with all that's been happening over in the Middle East or not, but it has really had a profound impact on me.  I've read the articles about the hundreds of Christians who are trapped in the mountains in Iraq because they refused to convert to Islam and couldn't pay the fine for not doing so and so they had to escape.  Now they're dying of thirst and hunger up there.  I see the pictures of the bloodied bodies, even small children shot through the head, murdered for what they believe.  The family executed together with their Bible nearby because they wouldn't refute their God.  The hundreds of charred bodies burnt alive in a Catholic church in Nigeria I believe it was, simply because they were a religion other than Muslim.  It hits a little more close to home with us because my husband was in Iraq 3 times, putting his life on the line, and now all their work has been for naught.  The Iraqi soldiers he made friends with are mostly likely dead, buried in a mass grave by the ISIS.

I read those articles and see those pictures on one website and then out of habit I click over to Pinterest and I'm struck with how shallow and inconsequential that is.  How can I care about the color of paint on my walls when I see blood spatters on their walls?  How can I care about my outdated green carpet when theirs is soaked with unrepenting martyred blood?  How can I care that my couch is a little saggy in the middle when theirs holds their murdered bodies?  

It's simple.  I can't.

So many things about my life feel so petty and unimportant compared to the things that are happening to my brothers and sisters in Christ over there.  I simply cannot bring myself to care about decorating right now.  It doesn't matter in the long run.  What matters is my heart and the hearts of my children and my husband.  Serving our Lord to the best of our ability, and having a faith so strong and a love for our God so great that we, too, would rather face the end of a rifle than to say we no longer believe in the Christ who died for us.

All of these things have been consuming my thoughts the past week or so and I find myself slipping into a quiet pensive state.  I know there's nothing I can do for them but pray, and I have been.  As well as for our own country and for my own family.  It would be very easy for me to become overwhelmed with these thoughts and even become depressed.  So how can I avoid that?  For the sake of my family.

By being thankful for what's right in front of me.

Decorating and creativity are my passion.  Dreams and visions for my home consume my thoughts more hours of each day than they should, and I find myself focusing only on what I don't have.  Only on the projects that are yet undone.  On the things that work perfectly fine, but that don't match my vision and so I think they need replaced.  I find myself feeling uptight and anxious about this "to do list" because living on only one income is very challenging.  We don't have any extra to spend on these projects.  It's important to us that I be at home raising our children and providing their education, and we have to make sacrifices every single day to make that happen.  I didn't just decide to stay home because we could afford it and I didn't need to work.  It was a choice we made for the future of our children and for the good of our family as a whole.  It requires sacrifice.  We do without a lot of things, we don't really go out to eat, sometimes our meals get creative that last day or two before the next paycheck.  It's just not in our budget to replace all the things I would like to and complete all my dream projects.

The other day the kids and I were driving into town and I was doing some thinking.  I had been a little snappy that morning, irritable with the kids for no apparent reason.  And as I thought about it I realized that my soul felt unsettled.  The fact that I have this big list of dreams for our home and no money to do it with was literally making me feel physically anxious.  I prayed as I drove and I told the Lord how I was feeling and in that instant I heard that still quiet voice saying, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything give thanks."  Wow.  Be thankful.  For what you have right now.  Don't focus on what you don't have, learn to love what you do have.

But you know, you can tell a child she needs to do something but does that mean that they will?  Not necessarily.  And it doesn't mean that even if they do try that they won't struggle with it.  That was me.  Even though I knew I was supposed to be trying to be thankful I was still struggling with not thinking about all the other things.  I'm weak like that.  And then I read {this} and I cried (and laughed).  It was exactly what I needed.  To view my home through a new set of "perspectacles."

So here goes.  I'm sharing my real life perstectacles with you.  I picked up my camera this morning and started snapping pictures of my kitchen, just as it was.  No cleaning.  No staging.  No straightening.  Not one single thing changed.  Just real life.  I didn't even bother with editing the pictures to make the lighting "just right."  I don't have time for editing today.  I told my little girl we'd go into town and look for butterfly plates for her birthday next week.  Now you tell me which one is more important?

So come take a walk through my real life kitchen, seeing it through eyes that are now thankful for what I have and trying very hard not to focus on what's not there.

First off, I'm thankful for appliances that work, well most of the time anyways.  The fridge has given us a few fits, but it's been working great the last couple of months and it has food in it to feed my family.  For that I'm thankful.  I'm thankful for an oven and stove to cook good meals on, and for a microwave that makes my life just a little bit easier.  I'm thankful for my vintage apron hanging on the side of the fridge that keeps my shirts clean.  I'm a messy cook.  I'm thankful for cute second hand decor that makes me smile.

The side of the fridge holds artwork made by my precious daughter and pictures of fun times with our family.  I am grateful each and every day for them.

The front of my fridge has smudgy little fingerprints all over it.  At times I have been so shallow as to resent this stainless steel fridge.   I didn't ask for it, I didn't want it, it came with the house, and "stainless" steel is sort of an oxymoron since it shows everything.  But seriously, how shallow is that?!?  Most people would love to have a stainless steel refrigerator and I've had the audacity to be unhappy with mine.  Smudgy little fingerprints means I have children that are healthy and capable of walking to the fridge and getting their own drinks and their own snacks.  Not every mother can say that.

In the corner is a baggie of leftover homemade hot dog buns.  Remnants of a meal eaten together as a family.  I'm thankful for Lucy, my KitchenAid mixer.  She whips out homemade bread, buns, pizza dough, and a batch of 100 cookies with no problem.  She makes my life easier.  The toaster sits out where my husband left it this morning.  He had waffles.  My 3 year old little boy and I had fun making a boat load of waffles together the other morning and we put all the leftover ones in the freezer.  Hubby was able to eat a couple for his breakfast this morning.  No matter that he didn't put the toaster away.  He never does.  It's a man thing I guess.  He also leaves his socks on the coffee table more often than not.  But he's my husband and my best friend, and I am so very thankful to have him in my life.  Dirty socks and all.

The light over our sink isn't the newest trend in farmhouse lighting that certain big name magazines make us think we have to have.  But I bought it for only $11 and it works just fine.

Plus, it gives off the warmest coziest glow that I just love.  I love to sit at the bar early each morning and drink my coffee in that warmth.

I'm thankful for my big window over the sink that looks out on our big beautiful back yard.  I'm thankful for colorful little pots that have herbs sprouting up in them and that cheer me up with their colorfulness.  Especially on a rainy morning like today.

A hummingbird feeder sits empty because I've been busy with a good life and it just hasn't been a priority to get it refilled.  Clean dishes drying from last night's yummy supper.  Perpetual dirty dishes in the sink are signs that I have a family and that we have food to put on those dishes.  A scraping tool leans up against the wall from the table I've been working on.  A dining room table I got for FREE.  I'm thankful for that for sure.  I was tempted to change out the dirty scrubber in the jar for a clean one, but I didn't.  Real life people.  Real life.  I use my cast iron skillets, a lot, and so my scrubber gets blackened. Deal with it.  Even the messy towel thrown haphazardly over the door makes me smile.  I normally take the time to fold it, but as I was drying dishes last evening my son came running in and said, "MOM!  You HAVE to come see this!!  My monster trucks are about to race!!"  He had his little trucks all lined up on the living room floor with croquet mallets making the racing lanes.  So of course I didn't have time to fold that towel.  It was more important that I NOT miss the start of that race!  : )

I'm ever so thankful for all that counter space!  There was a time that we lived in a house that had the world's tiniest kitchen, so this one feels like a mansion compared to that.  I'm thankful for plenty of room for friends and family to gather.  I've wished that I had bar stools that were more on trend and more industrial style instead of the dated oak.  But I need to be thankful that I have bar stools at all.  I didn't when we first moved here.  It took several months before I found these at a really good price on Craigslist.  I'm thankful for Craigslist.  : )

On this end of the counter are some greasy mower parts.  That means I have a hard working husband who cares about our home and works hard to save us money by fixing the mower himself when it breaks down.  His old phone lays there waiting for me to list it on Ebay.  That reminds me that we have family that loves us so much.  They paid for us to upgrade our phones.  Something we wouldn't have been able to afford to do.  I'm even thankful for that silly little Betta fish.  He's spazzy and quirky and quite easily the funniest little fish I've ever had.  He makes me smile.

Over here we have my son's cars lined up on the counter.  I was working on the computer when he woke up and he loves to be near me so after a few minutes of snuggle time he brought his cars out and played next to me while I worked.  The chicken salt shaker left on the counter because we ate dinner on the bar last night because the kids had so many craft supplies from their little project on the dining room table there was no room to eat.

Lots of creativity going on here.  I just didn't have the heart to make them clean it up. 

Sunday School papers laying there mean that my children still have the freedom to worship in a church of our choosing.  A new magazine, fresh from mailbox, means that I have a mother-in-law who loves me and who ordered that magazine for me.  A commentary and notebook lay there from my devotional time, again, I have the freedom to worship the one true God and to study His word.

On the other side of the kitchen we find this old dilapidated bookshelf that holds extra pantry items.  Do I wish I had something nicer, something like an old pie safe or a Hoosier cupboard?  Yes, I have been guilty of wanting more.  But I'm also thankful for this little shelf.  I only paid $5 for it 4 years ago and I've gotten every penny's worth out of it since then.  It holds extra food and snacks for my kiddos.  I'm always thankful for food.  : )

I have gorgeous flooring in my kitchen that I love with much love and I'm certainly thankful for that!  I'm thankful for our pets, for our 10 year old pudgy little Jack Russell who's been the absolute best dog we could ever hope for.  And for our little 4 month old playful kitten that makes us laugh every single day.

There are so many things about these pictures that sadly I was ungrateful about before.  But from now on I'm going to do my best to focus on real life and to be thankful for what I already have right in front of me.  There are so many who have far less than I do, who don't have the freedom to worship God, and who are dying for their beliefs.  The least I can do is not focus on wanting more.

"Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content."

Philippians 4:11

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God." 

Philippians 4:6